Drainin' jams in the night in spite of the day. Wasted way too long I wait for a call but don't answer, 'cause tonite I'm a dancer. The cancer the past is gone, but it all comes back when I'm here. In the stillness there's still this illness that kills this mood, and the silence in spite of this I miss what was there.

Do you still care?

'Cause I do.

True, but whatever I hear it's clear that there's never 'eventually it'll all disappear.' In what seems to be dreams will be all will be real and a day won't come that you can't see the sun 'cause it's shrouded by clouds of despair.

Under sheets of devotion I carry one notion that fading in light deep through this night I can only hold one person true. But that one is long gone, hangs still in this song over days, over months, over years.

As the sun peeks up over mountains ablaze you can only hold hands for so long. Under covers if careful trust and persuasion turn my head to my pillow and wake up from below this new day and on with the show.

Juxtapose, it's just a pose. Who knows
what's better for us than us.
It's justified and full of lies.
Interrogation leads to more questions
than answers, and Sir--it's time to move beyond
and we all knew it'd come to this.
The switches that turned us off are the same that turned us on.
Singing the same song to that same blond but somehow seems so wrong.
I wrote to let you know this
before this and that went down.
It's sad to see you frown, Mister out of town.
I know you're still around.
Eventually I know you'll leave,
and so will I. This has to die.
I can't expect things to go back, way back like us,
and forth and back again.

"The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a glowing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing, it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of Divine accident." Sir Hugh Walpoe

My love is exhausting
And yours is non-existent
And you can't keep comin' round
'Cause everytime you're distant.

Your heart is bent on breaking me
And mine as hard as nails.
So we'll keep driftin' round and round
Til storms corrupt our sails.

My love won't let it happen.
My heart's abandon ship.
Before these waves tear us apart
I'll end this fruitless trip.

Actions speak louder than txt.

Text speaks louder than nothing at all.

It's about time Maroon 5 came out with a new album. Well, it isn't out yet but I love this new song. I'm trying to pound these lyrics into my brain...right NOW.

Maroon 5 -- Makes Me Wonder

I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry
Feels so good to be bad
Not worth the aftermath, after that
After that
Try to get you back

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you
Anymore, Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try
(Yeah)
So this is goodbye

God damn, my spinning head
Decisions that made my bed
Now I must lay in it
And deal with things I left unsaid
I want to dive into you
Forget what you're going through
I get behind, make your move
Forget about the truth

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you
Anymore, Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try (yeah)
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true
Anymore, Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye

I've been here before
One day a week
And it won't hurt anymore
You caught me in a lie
I have no alibi
The words you say don't have a meaning
Cause..

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you and I...
and so this is goodbye

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you,
Anymore, Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true
Anymore Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye
So this is goodbye, yeah
(Oh no)

I've been having an unusual slew of weird dreams lately. Maybe my mind is getting ahead of itself with my lack of creativity output. I've had my head wrapped around someone and somethings that keep manifesting themselves in utter weirdness when my body is unconscious. I'll say it again...weird. So eat this:

[Names have been changed to protect the innocent]

Setting: Dark bar-like atmosphere, tropical decor, smelled like alcohol. Although it looked like a bar it was a house, a BIG house with many rooms and a giant staircase. Rooms closest to the bar were connected to one another, one set of rooms were connected by a high window located above each room's respective beds. The other rooms were just connected by doors as if it were some sort of fancy hotel.

Company: A handful of friends and partygoers. This was a small spring break crowd. Pretty much all of my friends and family were there.

The scenario in bits and pieces: It's a pretty good party. I'm polishing off a full bottle of Cazadores and the guys are all downing beer. A "friend" of mine, we'll call him Bob went off and hooked up with one of my family members we'll call her Bunny. (lol) Of course I notice this and take a little interest in what's about to happen. Meanwhile a cute, nevertheless nameless guy approaches me and we hit it off. We head over to the room next to Bob and Bunny. The room just so happens to have a window and I could just barely see over the top to Bob and Bunny about to get it on in the next room. So nameless cute guy and I get a little hot and heated, things go fast and soon he's reaching for a condom. When I see him go for the prophylactic my head spins and I want off the ride. I politely excuse myself from the room with a smile, a wave, and a 'I'll be right back'. I leave the room, my head hurts, and I get that uneasy feeling of bats in the stomach. Almost everyone has left the party. Only a few of my friends and a handful of girls are left cleaning up the mess. Wow, how long were we in there ? The first thing I see is my friendly bottle of Cazadores staring at me from the bar. I oblige it and throw my head back letting the last shot trickle down my throat. Then I hear the door to the bathroom shut. Bob and Bunny are out of the room. I head back to my cute and nameless, but this time I feel compelled to hide the hookup. I scramble around and make sure all the doors to the connecting rooms are locked. I forget one and my friend--we'll call him Steve, walks in on his cell phone. He tells me that I was begging him to come into the room with me and I refute and push him out the door. *click* The door locks and I finally return to my cute and nameless guy only to find him wrapped in a paper mache toga....everything is hazy from there.